Striving for the Evergreen Affair



Happy New Year my dear readers!

It’s been a while since we last have connected here. For this NYC Girl has been juggling quite a bit off line. However, it does not mean I’ve abandoned this great little blog. For there is tremendous value in having you visit here. For even without my constant update, I see many of you continue to visit. And it honors me to see you here. In fact some of you have been asking me what is this NYC Girl going to say next, and when.
 
For one, this new year, no doubt is beginning to get old already. It’s almost the end of January and I have no doubt that most of us have returned to our old habits, perhaps some of you are still striving at keeping your resolutions.

But one thing is important to remember is that life is short. That what we do every day counts. And whose life we touch on a daily basis counts. For those of you lucky enough to be with the woman of your dreams, do yourselves a favor and don’t wait for Valentine’s to do something special with each other. I really do believe that when the people in a relationship begin to take each other for granted, that’s when the magic of the relationship begins to wane, walls are erected, and we retire into our own shells. So, even though we’re with someone, we feel alone.

Oscar Wilde, one of my favorite writers used to say, “One should always be in love: that is the reason one should never marry.” And I think this is the key behind relationship success.

It seems like the moment two people make formal promises to each other, it’s like certain things are set, and therefore begin to be taken for granted. When you’re in the early stage of the relationship, you take nothing for granted. Everything counts: that look, the way she touches you, the words she says to you. But fast forward to a year or two later, or if you’re lucky to last longer, that “magic” is gone. And this NYC Girl, with little experience in long term relationships asks: Why does it have to be that way?

Perhaps in a way, that is why some of us don’t last that long. For I truly believe one should continuously be in love, feel lucky knowing you two adore each other. Why does love in a relationship have to transform into a routine where eventually you begin taking each other for granted? For those of us with a bit of a short attention span, doesn’t that lead you to cheat?

So, perhaps this is a challenge I will pose to all of you girls out there, courting other girls, or perhaps already in a relationship with other girls: Do NOT take for granted the fact that you will be there for each other. Treasure every moment. For life is short and you never know which moment will be your last. Your relationship should not feel like a marriage necessarily. It is my belief that the ideal relationship should feel like an ongoing romance, an evergreen sexy affair.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but, it is my philosophy to rather live short romances through life –and yes, alone sometimes—as supposed to sticking it out with someone with whom you no longer feel romantic about, and you’re likely to cheat on. Is life next to that person worth that? Is it even fair to them? To you?

Be brave. I say to all of you, go and spark the fire again, try to court her again. It should be an ongoing thing. And if it doesn’t work, then have the courage to end what is not working and find someone with whom you can make it work, even if it means you are alone for a while. After all, when you are in the wrong relationship, don't you feel alone anyway? Moving on and finding someone else is worth the pain of an overdue separation. Down the road, you’ll be glad you did.